How to Mine BitTube, Step by Step (with Pics) - Bitcoin

TIFU 3.6 MIL gone in a click

TIFU disclaimer i suck at all things grammar /spelling so mock away.
so this happened to a friend of mine today, and i just have to share it .
so around six months ago a close friend of mine was feeling depressed af, and needed a pick-me up, so after so chatting with in the group she decided to make an account on a fetish sight to try and rake in some compliments. nothing wrong with that i guess, who doesn't like compliments from strangers on the internet . so she created an account with a fake name and posted a few booty pics as one is want to do when fishing for dopamine. after a while she gets a few messages here and there and gets the rush she was so desperately craving. some time passes and she eventually forgets a bout the account.
and this is where she Fucked up, after a few months go by she gets an email saying the web sight is closing her account do to lack of activity. this prompted her to log back in and check her old account, she noticed she had gained around 400 Bitcoin from people trying to get her attention, and let me say i was impressed. well this dumbass had no idea what bitcoin was and that it had actual value around 9,100 usd per one bitcoin last time i checked type of value. she was under the impression that it was worthless and on the level of sweatcoin so with out a care in the world she closed the account , just POOF gone along with everything on it including the bitcoin.
she just deleted 400 bit coin...that is 3.6 million dollars...3.6 MILLION DOLLARS JUST GONE BYE BYE GONE. like WTF woman how do you do that, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU . JUST HOOOOOOWWWW.
TL;DR deleted my fetish account without clearing out my wallet on it and lost 400 Bitcoin
submitted by Tinyopossum to tifu [link] [comments]

Warning: Blockchain difficulty adjustment affecting price movements

Below are notable difficulty adjustments when hash rate fell and block times become slower for Bitcoin.
  1. 26 Mar 2020 [difficulty adjustment -15.95%, avg block time 11min 54secs]. On the 28th price crashed from $6674 to $6138 ( -8%).
  2. 8 Nov 2019 [difficulty adjustment -7.1%, avg block time 10min 46secs]. On the same day price crashed from $9234 to $8783 ( -4.88%).
  3. The next big adjustment was around Nov to Dec 2018 and there were 3 big adjustments with high block times.

Current situation:
We are 1 day 10 hours from the next difficulty adjustment. Projected difficulty adjustment is -5.61% (https://fork.lol/pow/retarget), which could indicate a small dip. However, take note that the date of last adjustment was the 5th and the 3rd halving was on the 11th, between the 5th to the 11th there was increased hashrate from miners trying to mine the final week of 12.5btc that offset the really slow block times after the halving. Therefore it will be the next difficulty adjustment after the one on the 20th that will completely reflect the slower block times after the halving. Currently the median block time taken on the 17th was around 14min (-28.5% difficulty adjustment).
For people who do not understand blockchain, basically with the Bitcoin 3rd halving, mining profitability fell for a lot of miners and they probably turned off their miners therefore the blockchain mining time became considerably slower which is reflected with slow transaction speed and higher fees as seen currently. Bitcoin sellers moving their BTC from wallet to an exchange are faced with slow transaction speed and therefore the sell pressure of BTC fell considerably which will attribute to the current price increase. There is a correlation between sell pressure and blockchain congestion (the size of the correlation is undetermined).
There is going to be a race. A race between BTC price hiking high enough to attract more miners to reduce avg block times versus the closing window of roughly 2 weeks before the next difficulty adjustment. If the price does not jump high enough, the next difficulty adjustment in the first week of June could signal a huge dip.
I am not an expert. I just did some research on the above and wanted to share with fellow Bitcoin compatriots so that we can tread with caution and not lose our shirts. I do not plan to short BTC but I will exit my BTC positions if I expect double digit negative difficulty adjustment in early June.
Please visit the original post here https://www.reddit.com/Bitcoin/comments/gm23pe/warning_blockchain_difficulty_adjustment/
There are pictures in the original post as well as 2nd halving evidence with pics. I could not post pics here. If possible please upvote the original post, a lot of people downvote it. Not sure why people downvote it, maybe veterans attempting to hide information from newcomers to fleece them of their shirt.

Update 1:>! As of writing, I have opened a small short position on Bitcoin. Stop loss around 10k, estimated take profit around 8500. The reason is because the difficulty adjustment in the next 20 hours, even though is just -5% roughly is still significant. I direct you to look into all the difficulty adjustments in the last 2 years and you will know how rare it is. The ones I caught were all listed at the very top of the post. Since it is my first time shorting BTC, I take this as a learning opportunity so that I will have some experience to face the bigger difficulty adjustment in the first week of June. Analysis into execution, even in failure I am happy.!<
Update 2: The difficulty adjustment (DA) happened roughly 6 hours ago and the sell pressure from -6% DA did not seem to be affecting the market much. However, please take a look now at the estimation for the next DA.
On https://bitcoin.clarkmoody.com/dashboard/ it is estimated to be -25%.
On https://fork.lol/pow/retarget estimated to be -18%.
On https://www.blockchain.com/charts/median-confirmation-time the median block time for the last day was 16.8min.
My original proposition that the true DA of the halving can only be realized in the next DA stands and that it will be considerable. The increased sell pressure from that DA will be highly significant. That is why there is a race by current miners to get the BTC price up high enough to attract more miners to not have the DA drop too much.
Update 3: Current BTC price at $9100 ( ~39 hours after DA). Then again BTC could have dropped from all sorts of reason. However the coincidence with the DA and with all the past DA is just too high to simply shrug off as irrelevant. Anyways past result cannot predict future ones, stay safe with the trading. Will no longer check on this post.
References:
Difficulty adjustment dates taken from https://btc.com/stats/diff
Bitcoin graph history for price movement taken from coinmarketcap.
Median confirmation time (block time) taken from https://www.blockchain.com/charts/median-confirmation-time

Credits to people who assisted the analysis:
kairepaire for pointing out faster block times between 5th-11th.
babies_eater for https://fork.lol/pow/retarget
moes_tavern_wifi for https://bitcoin.clarkmoody.com/dashboard/
Pantamis for https://diff.cryptothis.com/
submitted by theforwardbrain to BitcoinMarkets [link] [comments]

🐝🐝🐝The entire script to Bee Movie, except the bees are AnCaps🐝🐝🐝

Credit to this guy
According to all known laws of economics, there is no way an AnCap should be able to prax. Its brains are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The AnCap, of course, praxes anyway because AnCaps don't care what Statists think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Mises! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Mises? - Rothbard? - Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your bowtie. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Mises, I told you, stop praxing in the house! - Hey, Rothbard. - Hey, Mises. - Is that bowtie gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Mises. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, violate the NAP against someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Rothbard, today we are men. - We are! - AnCap-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished AnCaps, please welcome Dean praxwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Bitcoin Industries! Will we pick our job today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Bitcoin, a division of Austria and a part of the Schiff Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as an AnCap, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Gold begins when our valiant purposeful behavior Jocks bring the Mountain Dew to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... gold! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Bitcoin, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of AnCap existence. These AnCaps are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the smelter. - What does that do? - Catches that little strand of gold that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Can anyone work on the smelter? Of course. Most AnCap jobs are small ones. But AnCaps know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that AnCaps, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Rothbard, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're AnCaps. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Mountain Dew Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are purposeful behavior Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, praxing who knows where, doing who knows what. You can't just decide to be a purposeful behavior Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more purposeful behavior than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. AnCaps make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Couple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a purposeful behavior Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a Statist tear patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Mises! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, praxy-boy? Are you AnCap enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Bitcoin! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the gold field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with an Anime stash. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into gold! - Mises, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into gold. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some gold and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. purposeful behavior counting, stunt AnCap, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Couple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the smelter? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the smelter just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The smelter opened up again. What happened? An AnCap died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt AnCap, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Mises, what do you think I should... Mises? Mises! All right, we've got the Statist tear patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their price bubbles today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, AnCaps cannot prax in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, AnCap law number one, absolutely no talking to Statists! All right, launch positions! prax, prax, prax, prax! prax, prax, prax, prax! prax, prax, prax, prax! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Mountain Dew pack, check. - brains, check. - Anime, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those Statist tears! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Statist tears! This is Blue Leader. We have price bubbles visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. price bubbles! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one Mountain Dew collector! - Ever see praxeology up close? - No, sir. I pick up some purposeful behavior here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's purposeful behavior power. More purposeful behavior, more Statist tears, more Mountain Dew, more gold for us. Cool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Could be daisies. Don't we need those? Copy that visual. Wait. One of these Statist tears seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving Statist tear? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a Statist tear, but I like it. Yeah, bowtiey. Chemical-y. Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of AnCaps! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Coming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are Statist tears. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, gold, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's an AnCap in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, AnCap. - He's back here! He's going to violate the NAP against me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't violate the NAP against you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Can't prax in rain. Can't prax in rain. Can't prax in rain. Mayday! Mayday! AnCap going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More Statists. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! AnCap! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Ayn Rand. Thanks. - Ayn Rand, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's an AnCap law. You're not supposed to talk to a Statist. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're an AnCap! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with an AnCap. - Yeah. I'm talking to an AnCap. And the AnCap is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, gold." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. AnCaps are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're praxing up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that an AnCap joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Mises? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is Statist tears. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Mises. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Statists! I can't believe you were with Statists! Giant, scary Statists! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she AnCap-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... Statist. No, no. That's an AnCap law. You wouldn't break an AnCap law. - Her name's Ayn Rand. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a Statist florist! We're not dating. You're praxing outside the hive, talking to Statists that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Cinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking AnCap, my friend. Thinking AnCap! - Thinking AnCap. - Thinking AnCap. Thinking AnCap! Thinking AnCap! Thinking AnCap! Thinking AnCap! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Mises? I gotta start thinking AnCap? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely an AnCap! Would it kill you to make a little gold? Mises, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Mises, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Ayn Rand! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's AnCap-ish. They have a huge parade of Statist tears every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of price bubbles, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by Statist tears, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the price bubbles compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't prax everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb AnCaps! You must want toviolate the NAP againstall those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute AnCap, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - AnCaps make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole smelter thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just gold, Mises. Just what?! AnCaps don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice gold out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset AnCaps! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the gold coming from? Tell me where! gold Farms! It comes from gold Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To gold Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, AnCap! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - AnCap! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, AnCap boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of gold jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that gold's ours. - AnCaps hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonprax. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, AnCap! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? an AnCap's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Check out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the gold, and we make the money. "They make the gold, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! AnCap gold. Our gold is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Mises, stop. Who told you Statists are taking our gold? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to Statists. - What? - Talking to Statists?! He has a Statist girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Mises! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The AnCaps! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Mises, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than AnCaps! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our gold? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one AnCap do?violate the NAP againstthem where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you canviolate the NAP againstthe Statists, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more AnCap beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Weeb. Sports with prax Larvi. And Jeanette Chung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Chung. A tri-county AnCap, Mises Benson, intends to sue the Statist race for stealing our gold, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on AnCap Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Mises Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? AnCaps have never been afraid to change the world. What about AnCap Columbus? AnCap Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue Statists. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The AnCap community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the AnCap century. You know, they have a Larry King in the Statist world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. gold, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same AnCap? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the Statist race. - Hello. - Hello, AnCap. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Rothbard here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? AnCaps have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of Statist tears, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial Statist tears. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent Animes, pointless praxeology. AnCaps must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the Statists, they won't be able to say, "gold, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a goldAnCap can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Mises? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many Statists don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the AnCap team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Court of New York, Mises AnCap Benson v. the gold Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the AnCaps of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking AnCap! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary AnCap. gold's pretty important to me. It's important to all AnCaps. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our gold, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of gold Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own goldburton and Honron! Yes, they provide AnCapkeepers for our farms. AnCapkeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any AnCap-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free AnCaps. You keep AnCaps. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of gold. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill AnCaps! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of AnCap culture casually stolen by a Statist for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless AnCaps so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Mises. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Mises was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? AnCaps have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Mises borrow your razor for his bowtie. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old Anime stash. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of Statist tears. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like gold! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little AnCap! And he happens to be the nicest AnCap I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking AnCaps, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Mises Benson AnCap to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about AnCaps. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson AnCap, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen an AnCap documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the AnCap children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Mises... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate AnCap, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing AnCaps! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Rothbard, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a brained beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Rothbard, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the goldAnCaps versus the Statist race took a pointed turn against the AnCaps yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to violate the NAP against someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the Statists do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Rothbard, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Could you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. AnCaps don't smoke. Right. AnCaps don't smoke. AnCaps don't smoke! But some AnCaps are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. AnCaps are trained to prax haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's an AnCap smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a prax, let alone an AnCap. Look at what has happened to AnCaps who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as gold slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these AnCaps! Free the AnCaps! Free the AnCaps! Free the AnCaps! Free the AnCaps! Free the AnCaps! The court finds in favor of the AnCaps! Ayn Rand, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the gold will finally belong to the AnCaps. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Mises, how much gold is out there? All right. One at a time. Mises, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the AnCap way a long time, 27 million years. Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all AnCap work camps. Then we want back the gold that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate AnCap-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of gold in bogus health products and la-dee-da Statist tea-time snack garnishments. Can't breathe.
submitted by Cuddlyaxe to PoliticalCompassMemes [link] [comments]

Removed comments/submissions for /u/JoeyBobBillie

Hi JoeyBobBillie, you're not shadowbanned, but 49 of your most recent 200 comments/submissions were removed (either automatically or by human moderators).

Comments:

fuqgyih in chess on 13 Jun 20 (1pts):
Your willingness to remove this in the first place is why you're no longer mod. Mods forget that they're job isn't to uphold rules, it's to maintain a healthy community. Removing a post that most...
fuqfqs1 in chess on 13 Jun 20 (1pts):
You got your wish it seems. N0sher is now the only mod. Everyone just loves how great this sub has recently become!
/s
fuqem6l in chess on 13 Jun 20 (1pts):
Well you got what you wanted OP. Every mod besides N0sher has now been removed... Hope your happy with how this sub's reputation has been fucked recently.
fuo8w2w in chess on 13 Jun 20 (1pts):
You're thanking him???
fuo7wki in chess on 13 Jun 20 (1pts):
I'm bad at puzzles :(
funjmu2 in biology on 12 Jun 20 (1pts):
Spam.
ftrfc8s in gadgets on 12 Jun 20 (1pts):
I would print food so I don't have to buy groceries or anything.
ftmxijw in Mordhau on 10 Jun 20 (1pts):
Why can't I find the Elizabethian Sabatons??????
ft83r90 in aww on 07 Jun 20 (1pts):
You can get pills for that.
fszuq9q in pics on 05 Jun 20 (1pts):
You mean less lethal bullet? Because a less than lethal bullet isn't lethal (it's less than lethal...).
fsy3we6 in worldnews on 05 Jun 20 (1pts):
Almost no 10 year old can consent. Consent requires capacity.
fswk8g6 in Mordhau on 04 Jun 20 (1pts):
What if iron company is full?
fsvosf8 in pics on 04 Jun 20 (1pts):
This isn't Facebook.
fsvnqus in gifs on 04 Jun 20 (1pts):
If your not even paid a living wage you don't really have time to worry about the community.
fsvjn56 in biology on 04 Jun 20 (1pts):
Genes.
fslvjtn in todayilearned on 02 Jun 20 (1pts):
You do realize this is how private health care works right? I don't see how this is surprising.
fs9jaft in UpliftingNews on 30 May 20 (1pts):
So they can get away with looting and destroying businesses?
fs9iu9d in SuicideWatch on 30 May 20 (1pts):
I some (I'd argue many) don't need lots of money to enjoy life and be happy
Why do you feel that you need money to enjoy life?
fs4sh1x in iamatotalpieceofshit on 28 May 20 (1pts):
woooosh
fs2dg2p in pcgaming on 28 May 20 (1pts):
This aged poorly.

Submissions:

gzcwmf in Steam on 09 Jun 20 (1pts):
Stuck connecting to steam account.
gsiprj in Mordhau on 29 May 20 (1pts):
Is the game dead?
grcx3w in yuumimains on 27 May 20 (1pts):
Better to buy potions at start or save money?
grcne8 in yuumimains on 27 May 20 (1pts):
Can the ADC (or other roles for that matter) hear a voice line when you get on them?
gqpgg6 in medicine on 26 May 20 (1pts):
The position the WMA has on euthanasia is ethically flawed.
gpfubz in leagueoflegends on 24 May 20 (0pts):
Why is league balanced around Vladimir?
gofoq3 in wma on 22 May 20 (0pts):
The position the WMA has on euthanasia is ethically flawed.
gnmmfj in discordapp on 21 May 20 (0pts):
Did hackers get into discord to make all PCs Bitcoin mine for them?
gnmd5c in discordapp on 21 May 20 (1pts):
Discord lagging my connection and won't connect.
gmd1dy in deadbydaylight on 18 May 20 (1pts):
Best bloodwarden build?
gl2hv9 in VictoriaBC on 16 May 20 (1pts):
How can TekSavvy offer faster internet plans than Telus when they use the same line as Telus?
gin6gi in pcmasterrace on 12 May 20 (1pts):
FPS issue.
ge9y5m in gardening on 06 May 20 (1pts):
Where can I buy cloud berry seeds?
ge9ioq in grammar on 06 May 20 (1pts):
They aren't vs they're not?
gdnzr0 in medicine on 05 May 20 (1pts):
Wouldn't it be unethical for hospital workers to go on strike for any reason?
gdjy5m in grammar on 04 May 20 (2pts):
They aren't vs they're not?
gcjp05 in SuicideWatch on 03 May 20 (3pts):
Can it be ethical to be pro choice when it comes to suicide?
gc05xr in deadbydaylight on 02 May 20 (1pts):
Can you activate mettle of man more than once?
gb3z0h in onguardforthee on 30 Apr 20 (1pts):
Looking for a legal case.
gb2oqv in askpsychology on 30 Apr 20 (1pts):
Can someone be both competent and depressed?
ga00vc in SuicideWatch on 29 Apr 20 (1pts):
Ethics of suicide?
g9ys78 in deadbydaylight on 29 Apr 20 (1pts):
What's in the shrine?
g82aps in deadbydaylight on 25 Apr 20 (0pts):
How did trutalent become bald?
g7px16 in Ethics on 25 Apr 20 (1pts):
Is it ethical to prevent people with serious genetic diseases from reproducing?
g6yvbu in onguardforthee on 24 Apr 20 (1pts):
[META] Why do people here seem to dislike metacanada?
g5vpln in leagueoflegends on 22 Apr 20 (1pts):
What champion can do the most aoe burst damage?
g5vh7t in leagueoflegends on 22 Apr 20 (1pts):
What champion can do the most burst aoe damage?
g4nd5l in whowouldwin on 20 Apr 20 (1pts):
Upvote vs downvote?
g26bfu in VictoriaBC on 16 Apr 20 (0pts):
Is Fujiyama closed because of the virus?
I'm a bot. My home is at /CommentRemovalChecker - check if your posts have been removed! (How to use)
Help us expose and stand up to social media bias and censorship!
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This is also not including my current commissions on accounts not owned by me. In this post I will describe some of my strategies I've incorporated, and some insight into how this website works.
To offload or withdraw bitcoin, you're going to need what is called a "wallet". I personally use Coinbase (available on mobile or desktop) as you can sell it through here as well and easily move money to Paypal or a bank.
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4️⃣HOW DO COMMISSION REWARDS WORK?4️⃣
If you are already on FREEBITCO.IN, do you have someone who referred you? Do they share commissions? If not, why not make a new account and join me, where you'll get a return on everything you earn.
As you can see, large affiliate groups don't share anything, hoarding hundreds of thousands worth of BTC earned off their referrals
I share 50% of my commissions. I get 50% of your roll rewards, 25% of your interest, and 0.4% of your wagers. All of this is paid out by FREEBITCO.IN as a commission, so it's not pulled from your rewards or held BTC.
So the more you're active, the more you'll receive from me weekly (being active is doing anything that I get commissions from). IMPORTANT: Your (and all referrals) shares are based on activity, so if you are inactive for the week, you get a lower % for that week. If you're the most active of my referrals you get a higher percentage of what I share. This is to incentivize being active and to stop people from getting a cut without doing anything.
If you have FREEBITCO.IN automated, you don't have to worry about this. However, having a larger bankroll to earn interest, or playing Multiply BTC (I do not suggest playing unless doing so to meet auto roll requirements) will increase can your activity further.
Commission Structure
Here is some proof, I've actually shared about 2/3 of all commissions
Commissions update 12 January 2020
Here is a proof of Payment section per individual
📝NOTE: I've noticed when I was creating the images of commission sharing that the "RECENT" blocks are showing zero. If you look at totals from the first image, you can tell I'm actively sharing with all of my referrals.📝
Join my team FREEBITCO.IN
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5️⃣SOME CLAIM STATS5️⃣
You can earn AT LEAST .00000552 BTC (.048$) daily when automated (or claiming every hour on the hour) before bonuses (like using reward points to increase rewards 1000%). After some testing, it seems that this amount will always be about .048$ worth of BTC, base claim rewards no bonus active.
After .00030000 BTC, you accrue compounding interest at a rate of 4.08% APR, paid daily. As soon as your daily interest is accredited, it too starts earning interest. The daily interest rate comes out to ~0.011% of your total held BTC.
FREEBITCO.IN gives you a roll once every hour, free
📝NOTE: Roll rewards fluctuate inversely with BTC price. BTC goes down, roll rewards go up, vice versa. The BTC rewards USD value will be extremely close to the values represented below.📝
Current rewards and probability with every hourly roll.
(.002$) -> 98.85%
(.02$) -> 1.00%
(.20$) -> .08%
(2.00$) -> .04%
(20$) -> .02%
(200$) -> .01%
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6️⃣MULTIPLY BTC STRATS AND INFO6️⃣
🛑!WARNING!, NO STRATEGY IS 100%, THE MULTIPLIER GAME IS GAMBLING, YOU CAN STILL LOSE YOUR WHOLE BALANCE IF YOU PUSH YOUR LUCK.🛑
UPDATE: I decided to do some research after some odd outcomes when extensively testing some of my Multiplier strats. Turns out FREEBITCO.IN does indeed have a house advantage that isn't too transparent. Longer sessions are almost always going to come out negative. If you still plan on playing, do short sessions, once daily max, with lower amounts.
There are a couple methods to play the Multiplier with a reduced risk (but still a risk) here as well. I would suggest small play sessions.
STRAT #1
My preferred settings for AUTOROLL on MULTIPLY that I've had the best success rate with to date. (preferably with .00005000 in ACCT for best results)
BET: Minimum
ODDS: 3
ROLLS: (doesn't matter, 100)
BET ON: alternate
STOP BETTING PROFIT: .00000050, important as the bets will get exponentially higher with every loss. Win in small increments.
STOP BETTING LOSS: Set a loss limit if you want, I have mine set to .00001 and haven't reached it
ON WIN: select increase bet 0%
ON LOSS: select increase bet 65%
RANDOMIZE CLIENT SEED: yes
DO NOT REFRESH: yes
Here is a pic of the settings
Anything else doesn't matter. Make sure the boxes are checked for the above options.
With this strat, I've won positive on one account, about .000077 BTC, and I've only played 5 or 6 times, at less than 2-3 minutes of play time a session.
STRAT #2
Good for accounts with a low balance. I've had a surprising amount of luck with this method, enough so that I thought I'd post it here with an update. This could work well for accounts with less than 1k Satoshi, as a losing streak wouldn't be a huge loss. For this strat, you should have at least 189 Satoshi in your account.
BET: Minimum amount
ODDS/WIN CHANCE: 189 or %0.5
ROLLS: 189 (remains the same no matter if you bet more)
BET ON: High or Low, but not Alternate.
STOP BETTING ON PROFIT: Minimum amount, once again, you want continuous small wins
UPDATE: Conducting more tests for viability
I played these settings 10 times, I came out positive 8/10 times. In the end I was positive 433 Satoshi total with selecting "hi".
On selecting "low" I went positive 5/10 losing 525 Satoshi.
On selecting "hi" and betting 10 Satoshi, I went positive 3/10 times losing 9708 Satoshi.
On selecting "high" and betting 100 Satoshi, I never went positive, 0/10. Losing 189000 Satoshi (~15$ USD).
There does seem to be a pattern of losing more when betting more. Like anything gambling, there's probably a house advantage that's not too transparent.
Win small lose small.
Pic of these settings
STRAT #3
Another strategy I've tried is betting most of my balance once occasionally with a 94.06% chance of winning. This is, eh, alright to risk OCCASIONALLY, but a loss would set you back more than you ever made using this strategy, which happened to me, I lost about 40 USD worth of BTC after making maybe 5 USD.
THIS METHOD IS GREAT FOR MEETING NON-CAPTCHA ACCOUNT REQUIREMENTS!
Playing this in auto roll, out of 20 rolls I'd always lose at least once, putting me into the negative. Even with 10 rolls, I'd more often then not lose at least once.
Pic of these settings
There are other strats out there, such as the "Martingale", which is essentially doubling the bet amount every loss, then resetting your bet to minimum after a win to in theory "win back what you lost". At 47.5% odds of winning, I've had loss streaks that would drain my account.
My summary for Multiply, use sparingly. Don't use it as your primary means of earning. Use once or twice daily, limit play sessions to 5 minutes max.
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7️⃣AUTOMATION7️⃣
📝NOTE: FREEBITCO.IN captcha requirements seem to be tiered, with requirements for Captcha free upscaling when you BTC holding passes a certain threshold.
I'm currently testing, as is another team member (Shout out to u/SrExtreme69) , what exactly these thresholds, if holding at these thresholds increases the length of Captcha free rolls, and at what amount does FREEBITCO.IN no longer require these to be met.📝
📝NOTE: To start automating, remember to verify email and setup 2FA or the Captcha will still appear even if your account meets Captcha free requirements. Check the site occasionally as Captcha free roll requirements can change. After certain held BTC amount you don't need to renew your requirements. I haven't had to achieve new requirements in over a month.📝
📝NOTE: You may need to manually roll for a bit until the the ability to achieve a Captcha free account becomes available. It doesn't show at first.📝
📝NOTE: It's very difficult, if not impossible to automate on iOS devices.
First of all, getting to this point can be a grind, but once achieved you'll have a steady flow of BTC with options to increase earnings through rewards claims using RP. I would suggest going to your PROFILE tab on FREEBITCO.IN and disabling lottery to increase RP production when starting out. Using other apps or resources to supplement income is a good idea as well.
On the FREE BTC page, there is a blue text hyperlink with requirements that need to be met to make your account captcha free, thus allowing you to enable autoroll on extensions or apps. It has multiple ways to achieve this and they can change, so if your autoroll has stopped, check to see if these requirements have changed.
Here are the requirements. (Amounts vary)
It seems only two of these requirements need to be met.
The less risky and easiest method is to buy lottery tickets and bet with jackpots on. Even better is depositing bitcoin if you have that amount.
The POSSIBLY least expensive method is to bet both regularly and with Jackpots enabled on MULTIPLY (for higher amounts required, IMO Multiplier strat #3 works best)
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8️⃣OPTIMIZATION AND USE OF FREEBITCO.IN8️⃣
For computers
I would suggest using Firefox, as you can add functions and tools to your bar up top. One of the being a "auto roll" for FREEBITCO.IN, still requires a "captcha free" account. Turn it on and let go, check it occasionally to make sure its still going.
Autoroll firefox add-on link
My link again for ease of access
Not my preferred method, but good for a second account, as using a computer means devoting more attention to FREEBITCO.IN in an inconvenient manner if you are just starting out. After Captcha has been removed, this becomes more hands free, but not as profitable as using bitbot, as you can't autoclaim RP rewards.
I haven't tried many methods besides using Firefox addons, as I'm wary of sources or intent when it comes to 3rd party scripts or programs. If I find any trustworthy scripts or programs, I will update here.
For Mobile
🛑BITBOT WARNING, IF YOU USE BITBOT TO ACCESS FREEBITCO.IN BEFORE USING MY REFERRAL, YOU WILL BE REFERRED THROUGH BITBOT, AND THEY DON'T SHARE COMMISSIONS AS FAR AS I CAN TELL🛑 My Link again
📝NOTE: iOS devices (iPhone, iPad) do not have access to BitBot, nor do they allow extensions/add-ons on their browsers. I have not personally found a way around this. You may still access the site and manually roll.📝
I use BitBot. This is the best place to start from IMO. You can set it to notify you of rolls and gives direct access to the site from the app (you can also access the site from any device with internet). Once your account is "captcha free" you can set it to auto roll AND automatically claim rewards every 24 hours (RP increase, BTC increase, Lottery ticket Increase).
📝NOTE: Bitbot allows auto roll from the app for accounts over 500 RP. This isn't permanent, as it uses your RP. You'll need to log onto the website through a browser to achieve captch free account requirements, which Bitbot does recognize, which allow completely free rolls.📝
📝NOTE: Accessing FREEBITCO.IN through BitBot doesn't allow access to the Hi-Lo or betting games.📝
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9️⃣STRATS TO INCREASE EARNINGS9️⃣
Bitbot optimization
I started manual claims by setting roll notifications to "ON" for a while until I supplemented my BTC in FREEBITCO.IN with what I was collecting from my miner and CryptoTab. Once I was able to AUTOMATE and I had enough RP to claim the RP BONUS, I set it to do that automatically every 24 hours as this nets more RP than you spend (EG, 100 RP roll bonus costs 1200 RP, but can net 2400 RP if claimed every hour). Eventually you accrue enough RP to claim the %1000 BTC bonus, probably at a rate of once or twice a week.
My current BitBot settings now that its auto claiming, I have the 24 hour auto bonus claiming 100 RP roll bonus and 100% claim bonus, spending a total of 1520 RP, but I'm making 2400 RP with the RP bonus, leaving me 780 RP in the positive each day. Every now and then I'll stop the auto bonus claim so I can buy the 1000% claim bonus (3200 RP). So on a normal day I'll make about 1344 Satoshi. Bitbot auto bonus settings
Once your accrue more referrals, or save enough RP, it's possible to claim the 1000% BTC roll bonus multiple days in a row. This is just about as optimal as you can get for auto rolling.
Self Referrals
If you have two devices (phone and computer preferably) you can make two accounts as long as one uses a different wifi or internet connection, as the roll rewards tracks IP addresses for roll counts. So if you have 2 devices on the same network, it sudo links accounts, so if you roll on one, it restarts the timer on the other. This allows you to collect referral rewards from yourself. Effectively adding 25% of interest and 50% roll rewards.
I currently have a phone autorolling on BitBot with a computer autorolling on Firefox with a tool to roll automatically as long as the page remains open. My computer account is referred from my mobile account, and is currently bringing in an extra .000015+ BTC weekly (currently, total will be this Sunday and I will update).
I've also made another account on my partners phone, linked it with bitbot and got it auto-rolling. Once bitbot is going, its non-invasive and you can silence notifications, it also uses minimal data.
Supplementing with CryptoTab
I'll use CryptoTab on my computer 24/7 to earn BTC from that while I have FREEBITCO.IN running. I also have it running on my phone at night when I sleep and on an iPad I have that I don't use much, its server mining, so no worries about battery on mobile devices. On computers it does actually use your processing power. You can directly deposit into you FREEBITCO.IN accounts.
CryptoTab Link
I've used it for two weeks and have earned a total of .000454 BTC (3.60$ USD). Not huge, but enough to start collecting interest on FREEBITCO.IN and to get the capthca free account requirements.
Supplementing with Cointiply
🛑WARNING: Cointiply's main currency is the constant, weighted against the dollar (10,000 coin/1USD). This means your actually BTC holdings will fluctuate with BTC's price.
For this reason, it's my strong opinion that DON'T HODL in Cointiply as you're not holding actual BTC.🛑
Cointiply is a great site to earn decent amounts of COIN which translate to SAT's. Earn coin, withdraw to FREEBITCO.IN (as you actually hold BTC in cointiply).
I also use an ASIC miner (Antminer s9i, DIY liquid cooled and overclocked with BixBit firmware), and whatever I earn I'll put that into FREEBITCO.IN to collect interest. If you want, I may be willing to do a rental.
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1️⃣0️⃣ADVERTISING YOUR LINK1️⃣0️⃣
📝NOTE: Since this faucet has been around a while, many people privy to sites such as this are already signed up. So getting referrals can be a slog. My tips for your ads is be genuine and don't hard sell or post "too good to be true" sensational ads.📝
COINTIPLY
This is another faucet. Its structure is a bit different from FREEBITCO.IN, as you complete offers to earn coin. Within this site (also an app) users can earn coins by doing PTC ads (and other offers), this is a good method to get exposure as you can advertise as well. Using this method my traffic for last week as about 800 people.
13000 coins buys about 1000 "clicks" on your ads. They also have options to advertise to people based on location (these options will increase or decrease cost). After your first ad, you usually get a 10% off coupon good for 7 days as well.
You can earn this amount within a day doing surveys on Theorem. I've done surveys before, and this has to be one of the best surveys sights I've ever done. Very rarely do I get kicked out mid survey, and if I do, I still get partial pay.
I will also use "Hideout" on my computer and leave it running. It has to be the open tab on your browser, with the browser open, not minimized. Let it go and check it occasionally as it has a timeout at roughly 2-3 hrs idle. As of now this is the best passive method of earning on Cointiply.
PI NETWORK
Pi Network, an ICO (Initial coin offering) based on trust and social media is another good medium for advertising. I will usually see 15-20 people click on my link with 2-4 ads posted per day.
Just go to "chat", select "random" and post an ad in the chat channel. No charge.
My tip, keep your ads short to medium in length, don't spam.
XYO NETWORK/COIN APP
This is another crypto earned through "geo-mining". On the "coin" app you can do a "geodrop" where you can leave a note. Just click on the box with a parachute icon, select "any" on the "Tile" selection. Leave your ad in the "note" section.
It costs 10 "COIN" at the very least to do a "geodrop". This method may not be worth it if you aren't already involved in the program. To earn a substantial amount of coin, you'll need a subscription or a "sentinel". Sentinels can actually be purchased for under 20$ nowadays (depending on site) and is the best option to earn. Without these you'll only make approx .05-.18 coin every 30 seconds if you're actively moving.
My tips if you plan on advertising on this platform, once again keep it short, and only advertise around 7-9am and 4-6pm, as this will be peak mining hours with people driving to and from work.
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1️⃣1️⃣LINKS1️⃣1️⃣
My FREEBITCO.IN Referral Link
What is a Satoshi?
Bitcoins price through Coingecko
CryptoTab Link
Autoroll on Firefox
Coinbase Link
PI NETWORK
COINTIPLY
XYO NETWORK/COIN APP
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submitted by thatoneguyYMK to SpareCash [link] [comments]

Removed comments/submissions for /u/JoeyBobBillie

Hi JoeyBobBillie, you're not shadowbanned, but 46 of your most recent 200 comments/submissions were removed (either automatically or by human moderators).

Comments:

fszuq9q in pics on 05 Jun 20 (1pts):
You mean less lethal bullet? Because a less than lethal bullet isn't lethal (it's less than lethal...).
fsy3we6 in worldnews on 05 Jun 20 (1pts):
Almost no 10 year old can consent. Consent requires capacity.
fswk8g6 in Mordhau on 04 Jun 20 (1pts):
What if iron company is full?
fsvosf8 in pics on 04 Jun 20 (1pts):
This isn't Facebook.
fsvnqus in gifs on 04 Jun 20 (1pts):
If your not even paid a living wage you don't really have time to worry about the community.
fsvjn56 in biology on 04 Jun 20 (1pts):
Genes.
fslvjtn in todayilearned on 02 Jun 20 (1pts):
You do realize this is how private health care works right? I don't see how this is surprising.
fs9jaft in UpliftingNews on 30 May 20 (1pts):
So they can get away with looting and destroying businesses?
fs9iu9d in SuicideWatch on 30 May 20 (1pts):
I some (I'd argue many) don't need lots of money to enjoy life and be happy
Why do you feel that you need money to enjoy life?
fs4sh1x in iamatotalpieceofshit on 28 May 20 (1pts):
woooosh
fs2dg2p in pcgaming on 28 May 20 (1pts):
This aged poorly.
frltenz in leagueoflegends on 24 May 20 (1pts):
How much it cost for a session?
frhn8q7 in worldnews on 22 May 20 (1pts):
It's rape because the renter lacks volitional competence.
frfl93v in SuicideWatch on 22 May 20 (1pts):
Telling his family is not morally justified if the suicidal individual is competent. In fact, it's likely unethical.
frfl0fp in SuicideWatch on 22 May 20 (1pts):
Depends on your country really.

Submissions:

gxh76m in uvic on 06 Jun 20 (1pts):
Parking sticker question.
gsiprj in Mordhau on 29 May 20 (1pts):
Is the game dead?
grcx3w in yuumimains on 27 May 20 (1pts):
Better to buy potions at start or save money?
grcne8 in yuumimains on 27 May 20 (1pts):
Can the ADC (or other roles for that matter) hear a voice line when you get on them?
gqpgg6 in medicine on 26 May 20 (1pts):
The position the WMA has on euthanasia is ethically flawed.
gpfubz in leagueoflegends on 24 May 20 (0pts):
Why is league balanced around Vladimir?
gofoq3 in wma on 22 May 20 (0pts):
The position the WMA has on euthanasia is ethically flawed.
gnmmfj in discordapp on 21 May 20 (0pts):
Did hackers get into discord to make all PCs Bitcoin mine for them?
gnmd5c in discordapp on 21 May 20 (1pts):
Discord lagging my connection and won't connect.
gmd1dy in deadbydaylight on 18 May 20 (1pts):
Best bloodwarden build?
gl2hv9 in VictoriaBC on 16 May 20 (1pts):
How can TekSavvy offer faster internet plans than Telus when they use the same line as Telus?
gin6gi in pcmasterrace on 12 May 20 (1pts):
FPS issue.
ge9y5m in gardening on 06 May 20 (1pts):
Where can I buy cloud berry seeds?
ge9ioq in grammar on 06 May 20 (1pts):
They aren't vs they're not?
gdnzr0 in medicine on 05 May 20 (1pts):
Wouldn't it be unethical for hospital workers to go on strike for any reason?
gdjy5m in grammar on 04 May 20 (2pts):
They aren't vs they're not?
gcjp05 in SuicideWatch on 03 May 20 (3pts):
Can it be ethical to be pro choice when it comes to suicide?
gc05xr in deadbydaylight on 02 May 20 (1pts):
Can you activate mettle of man more than once?
gb3z0h in onguardforthee on 30 Apr 20 (1pts):
Looking for a legal case.
gb2oqv in askpsychology on 30 Apr 20 (1pts):
Can someone be both competent and depressed?
ga00vc in SuicideWatch on 29 Apr 20 (1pts):
Ethics of suicide?
g9ys78 in deadbydaylight on 29 Apr 20 (1pts):
What's in the shrine?
g82aps in deadbydaylight on 25 Apr 20 (0pts):
How did trutalent become bald?
g7px16 in Ethics on 25 Apr 20 (1pts):
Is it ethical to prevent people with serious genetic diseases from reproducing?
g6yvbu in onguardforthee on 24 Apr 20 (1pts):
[META] Why do people here seem to dislike metacanada?
g5vpln in leagueoflegends on 22 Apr 20 (1pts):
What champion can do the most aoe burst damage?
g5vh7t in leagueoflegends on 22 Apr 20 (1pts):
What champion can do the most burst aoe damage?
g4nd5l in whowouldwin on 20 Apr 20 (1pts):
Upvote vs downvote?
g26bfu in VictoriaBC on 16 Apr 20 (0pts):
Is Fujiyama closed because of the virus?
g1ky4q in Ethics on 15 Apr 20 (1pts):
Is it true that someone became director of the CMA board of ethics after they gave children cholera to see how it spread?
fzm1om in deadbydaylight on 12 Apr 20 (0pts):
After 5 pallet stuns the killer should die and survivors escape.
I'm a bot. My home is at /CommentRemovalChecker - check if your posts have been removed! (How to use)
Help us expose and stand up to social media bias and censorship!
submitted by MarkdownShadowBot to CommentRemovalChecker [link] [comments]

🐝🐝🐝The entire script to Bee Movie, except the bees are AnCaps🐝🐝🐝

Credit to this guy
According to all known laws of economics, there is no way an AnCap should be able to prax. Its brains are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The AnCap, of course, praxes anyway because AnCaps don't care what Statists think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Mises! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Mises? - Rothbard? - Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your bowtie. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Mises, I told you, stop praxing in the house! - Hey, Rothbard. - Hey, Mises. - Is that bowtie gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Mises. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, violate the NAP against someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Rothbard, today we are men. - We are! - AnCap-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished AnCaps, please welcome Dean praxwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Bitcoin Industries! Will we pick our job today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Bitcoin, a division of Austria and a part of the Schiff Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as an AnCap, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Gold begins when our valiant purposeful behavior Jocks bring the Mountain Dew to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... gold! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Bitcoin, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of AnCap existence. These AnCaps are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the smelter. - What does that do? - Catches that little strand of gold that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Can anyone work on the smelter? Of course. Most AnCap jobs are small ones. But AnCaps know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that AnCaps, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Rothbard, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're AnCaps. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Mountain Dew Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are purposeful behavior Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, praxing who knows where, doing who knows what. You can't just decide to be a purposeful behavior Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more purposeful behavior than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. AnCaps make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Couple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a purposeful behavior Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a Statist tear patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Mises! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, praxy-boy? Are you AnCap enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Bitcoin! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the gold field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with an Anime stash. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into gold! - Mises, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into gold. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some gold and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. purposeful behavior counting, stunt AnCap, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Couple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the smelter? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the smelter just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The smelter opened up again. What happened? An AnCap died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt AnCap, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Mises, what do you think I should... Mises? Mises! All right, we've got the Statist tear patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their price bubbles today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, AnCaps cannot prax in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, AnCap law number one, absolutely no talking to Statists! All right, launch positions! prax, prax, prax, prax! prax, prax, prax, prax! prax, prax, prax, prax! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Mountain Dew pack, check. - brains, check. - Anime, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those Statist tears! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Statist tears! This is Blue Leader. We have price bubbles visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. price bubbles! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one Mountain Dew collector! - Ever see praxeology up close? - No, sir. I pick up some purposeful behavior here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's purposeful behavior power. More purposeful behavior, more Statist tears, more Mountain Dew, more gold for us. Cool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Could be daisies. Don't we need those? Copy that visual. Wait. One of these Statist tears seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving Statist tear? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a Statist tear, but I like it. Yeah, bowtiey. Chemical-y. Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of AnCaps! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Coming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are Statist tears. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, gold, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's an AnCap in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, AnCap. - He's back here! He's going to violate the NAP against me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't violate the NAP against you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Can't prax in rain. Can't prax in rain. Can't prax in rain. Mayday! Mayday! AnCap going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More Statists. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! AnCap! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Ayn Rand. Thanks. - Ayn Rand, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's an AnCap law. You're not supposed to talk to a Statist. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're an AnCap! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with an AnCap. - Yeah. I'm talking to an AnCap. And the AnCap is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, gold." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. AnCaps are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're praxing up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that an AnCap joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Mises? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is Statist tears. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Mises. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Statists! I can't believe you were with Statists! Giant, scary Statists! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she AnCap-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... Statist. No, no. That's an AnCap law. You wouldn't break an AnCap law. - Her name's Ayn Rand. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a Statist florist! We're not dating. You're praxing outside the hive, talking to Statists that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Cinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking AnCap, my friend. Thinking AnCap! - Thinking AnCap. - Thinking AnCap. Thinking AnCap! Thinking AnCap! Thinking AnCap! Thinking AnCap! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Mises? I gotta start thinking AnCap? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely an AnCap! Would it kill you to make a little gold? Mises, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Mises, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Ayn Rand! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's AnCap-ish. They have a huge parade of Statist tears every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of price bubbles, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by Statist tears, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the price bubbles compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't prax everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb AnCaps! You must want toviolate the NAP againstall those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute AnCap, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - AnCaps make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole smelter thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just gold, Mises. Just what?! AnCaps don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice gold out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset AnCaps! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the gold coming from? Tell me where! gold Farms! It comes from gold Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To gold Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, AnCap! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - AnCap! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, AnCap boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of gold jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that gold's ours. - AnCaps hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonprax. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, AnCap! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? an AnCap's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Check out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the gold, and we make the money. "They make the gold, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! AnCap gold. Our gold is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Mises, stop. Who told you Statists are taking our gold? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to Statists. - What? - Talking to Statists?! He has a Statist girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Mises! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The AnCaps! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Mises, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than AnCaps! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our gold? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one AnCap do?violate the NAP againstthem where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you canviolate the NAP againstthe Statists, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more AnCap beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Weeb. Sports with prax Larvi. And Jeanette Chung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Chung. A tri-county AnCap, Mises Benson, intends to sue the Statist race for stealing our gold, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on AnCap Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Mises Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? AnCaps have never been afraid to change the world. What about AnCap Columbus? AnCap Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue Statists. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The AnCap community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the AnCap century. You know, they have a Larry King in the Statist world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. gold, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same AnCap? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the Statist race. - Hello. - Hello, AnCap. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Rothbard here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? AnCaps have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of Statist tears, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial Statist tears. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent Animes, pointless praxeology. AnCaps must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the Statists, they won't be able to say, "gold, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a goldAnCap can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Mises? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many Statists don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the AnCap team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Court of New York, Mises AnCap Benson v. the gold Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the AnCaps of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking AnCap! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary AnCap. gold's pretty important to me. It's important to all AnCaps. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our gold, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of gold Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own goldburton and Honron! Yes, they provide AnCapkeepers for our farms. AnCapkeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any AnCap-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free AnCaps. You keep AnCaps. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of gold. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill AnCaps! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of AnCap culture casually stolen by a Statist for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless AnCaps so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Mises. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Mises was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? AnCaps have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Mises borrow your razor for his bowtie. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old Anime stash. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of Statist tears. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like gold! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little AnCap! And he happens to be the nicest AnCap I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking AnCaps, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Mises Benson AnCap to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about AnCaps. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson AnCap, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen an AnCap documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the AnCap children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Mises... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate AnCap, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing AnCaps! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Rothbard, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a brained beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Rothbard, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the goldAnCaps versus the Statist race took a pointed turn against the AnCaps yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to violate the NAP against someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the Statists do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Rothbard, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Could you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. AnCaps don't smoke. Right. AnCaps don't smoke. AnCaps don't smoke! But some AnCaps are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. AnCaps are trained to prax haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's an AnCap smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a prax, let alone an AnCap. Look at what has happened to AnCaps who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as gold slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these AnCaps! Free the AnCaps! Free the AnCaps! Free the AnCaps! Free the AnCaps! Free the AnCaps! The court finds in favor of the AnCaps! Ayn Rand, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the gold will finally belong to the AnCaps. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Mises, how much gold is out there? All right. One at a time. Mises, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the AnCap way a long time, 27 million years. Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all AnCap work camps. Then we want back the gold that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate AnCap-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of gold in bogus health products and la-dee-da Statist tea-time snack garnishments. Can't breathe.
submitted by Cuddlyaxe to Jreg [link] [comments]

Removed comments/submissions for /u/JoeyBobBillie

Hi JoeyBobBillie, you're not shadowbanned, but 46 of your most recent 200 comments/submissions were removed (either automatically or by human moderators).

Comments:

fszuq9q in pics on 05 Jun 20 (1pts):
You mean less lethal bullet? Because a less than lethal bullet isn't lethal (it's less than lethal...).
fsy3we6 in worldnews on 05 Jun 20 (1pts):
Almost no 10 year old can consent. Consent requires capacity.
fswk8g6 in Mordhau on 04 Jun 20 (1pts):
What if iron company is full?
fsvosf8 in pics on 04 Jun 20 (1pts):
This isn't Facebook.
fsvnqus in gifs on 04 Jun 20 (1pts):
If your not even paid a living wage you don't really have time to worry about the community.
fsvjn56 in biology on 04 Jun 20 (1pts):
Genes.
fslvjtn in todayilearned on 02 Jun 20 (1pts):
You do realize this is how private health care works right? I don't see how this is surprising.
fs9jaft in UpliftingNews on 30 May 20 (1pts):
So they can get away with looting and destroying businesses?
fs9iu9d in SuicideWatch on 30 May 20 (1pts):
I some (I'd argue many) don't need lots of money to enjoy life and be happy
Why do you feel that you need money to enjoy life?
fs4sh1x in iamatotalpieceofshit on 28 May 20 (1pts):
woooosh
fs2dg2p in pcgaming on 28 May 20 (1pts):
This aged poorly.
frltenz in leagueoflegends on 24 May 20 (1pts):
How much it cost for a session?
frhn8q7 in worldnews on 22 May 20 (1pts):
It's rape because the renter lacks volitional competence.
frfl93v in SuicideWatch on 22 May 20 (1pts):
Telling his family is not morally justified if the suicidal individual is competent. In fact, it's likely unethical.
frfl0fp in SuicideWatch on 22 May 20 (1pts):
Depends on your country really.

Submissions:

gxh76m in uvic on 06 Jun 20 (1pts):
Parking sticker question.
gsiprj in Mordhau on 29 May 20 (1pts):
Is the game dead?
grcx3w in yuumimains on 27 May 20 (1pts):
Better to buy potions at start or save money?
grcne8 in yuumimains on 27 May 20 (1pts):
Can the ADC (or other roles for that matter) hear a voice line when you get on them?
gqpgg6 in medicine on 26 May 20 (1pts):
The position the WMA has on euthanasia is ethically flawed.
gpfubz in leagueoflegends on 24 May 20 (0pts):
Why is league balanced around Vladimir?
gofoq3 in wma on 22 May 20 (0pts):
The position the WMA has on euthanasia is ethically flawed.
gnmmfj in discordapp on 21 May 20 (0pts):
Did hackers get into discord to make all PCs Bitcoin mine for them?
gnmd5c in discordapp on 21 May 20 (1pts):
Discord lagging my connection and won't connect.
gmd1dy in deadbydaylight on 18 May 20 (1pts):
Best bloodwarden build?
gl2hv9 in VictoriaBC on 16 May 20 (1pts):
How can TekSavvy offer faster internet plans than Telus when they use the same line as Telus?
gin6gi in pcmasterrace on 12 May 20 (1pts):
FPS issue.
ge9y5m in gardening on 06 May 20 (1pts):
Where can I buy cloud berry seeds?
ge9ioq in grammar on 06 May 20 (1pts):
They aren't vs they're not?
gdnzr0 in medicine on 05 May 20 (1pts):
Wouldn't it be unethical for hospital workers to go on strike for any reason?
gdjy5m in grammar on 04 May 20 (2pts):
They aren't vs they're not?
gcjp05 in SuicideWatch on 03 May 20 (3pts):
Can it be ethical to be pro choice when it comes to suicide?
gc05xr in deadbydaylight on 02 May 20 (1pts):
Can you activate mettle of man more than once?
gb3z0h in onguardforthee on 30 Apr 20 (1pts):
Looking for a legal case.
gb2oqv in askpsychology on 30 Apr 20 (1pts):
Can someone be both competent and depressed?
ga00vc in SuicideWatch on 29 Apr 20 (1pts):
Ethics of suicide?
g9ys78 in deadbydaylight on 29 Apr 20 (1pts):
What's in the shrine?
g82aps in deadbydaylight on 25 Apr 20 (0pts):
How did trutalent become bald?
g7px16 in Ethics on 25 Apr 20 (1pts):
Is it ethical to prevent people with serious genetic diseases from reproducing?
g6yvbu in onguardforthee on 24 Apr 20 (1pts):
[META] Why do people here seem to dislike metacanada?
g5vpln in leagueoflegends on 22 Apr 20 (1pts):
What champion can do the most aoe burst damage?
g5vh7t in leagueoflegends on 22 Apr 20 (1pts):
What champion can do the most burst aoe damage?
g4nd5l in whowouldwin on 20 Apr 20 (1pts):
Upvote vs downvote?
g26bfu in VictoriaBC on 16 Apr 20 (0pts):
Is Fujiyama closed because of the virus?
g1ky4q in Ethics on 15 Apr 20 (1pts):
Is it true that someone became director of the CMA board of ethics after they gave children cholera to see how it spread?
fzm1om in deadbydaylight on 12 Apr 20 (0pts):
After 5 pallet stuns the killer should die and survivors escape.
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Help us expose and stand up to social media bias and censorship!
submitted by MarkdownShadowBot to CommentRemovalChecker [link] [comments]

I need explanation

So I've got this guy whose sending me money, but he needs me to buy him gift cards with the money. I know, its super sketchy, but I need to figure out his plot holes to see if i can just keep not getting this guy his cards and stay out of legal trouble. One thing he keeps bringing up is that his bitcoin account is gonna get suspended, or its gonna get blocked and hes gonna lose thousands in bitcoin. The money part I can believe, but can a wallet ever get suspended or blocked if you dont keep depositing money into it?
Another thing he brought up just today is that theres some new policy for mining bitcoin, and you need to "send more coin to get all the coin mined?" My best guess is that hes trying to say you need to send a minimum amount to be able to access the privileged of mining bitcoin?
Update: thanks for the deets, but it looks like I didnt provide enough details. His original plan was to be a sugar daddy, and send me 300 a week, but he sent me 1600, told me to keep 400 for myself, and buy 1200 in gift cards and send the codes to him, all while saying this was for his business, and he couldnt get it for himself because it's a business account, and he didnt have a card for himself to buy the cards. Obviously I thought this was really fuckin sketchy, but I was getting paid, so it wasnt a huge deal to me. He bumped the 12 to 15, and told me I'd get paid more. I went along with it, and he delivered. Then he wanted 2000 in cards. I was somewhat game, but I felt wrong getting the cards so I backed off a bit. He then brought up that his business was in bitcoin, and he'd been investing in it for several years, and didnt want his thousands to go down the drain because he didnt deposit enough gift card money or whatever, as well as saying that I'm the only one he trusts. Mind you, this was like day 2 or 3 of meeting this guy, who doesnt trust his employees and somehow cant just use checks to get the cards himself. I got the money eventually, and he said he needed an extra 500 or the account would close. Same shit, but I didnt get the card. Now, he sent me pics of a text thread saying the whole policy thing, and the guy he was texting saying that 6000 would do it. All I need to know is if the suspending and blocking of a bitcoin wallet is true, as well as if he and I don't reach an agreement, am I able to legally keep the money he willingly sent me
submitted by jobo-dodo to Bitcoin [link] [comments]

I attended an "Investment Opportunity in Cryptocurrency" in Venezuela in my little town <200k population.

I attended an
TL;DR "Trading company" that turned out to be a MLM/Pyramid Scheme visits little town in Venezuela and scams the hell out of it, people can't get their funds out. only if they use their ICO. I got cookies out of it

Hi!, my name is Victor and I'm from Venezuela, my dad knows that I'm into technology in general, so when a friend from his work invited him to the next "big thing in Cryptocurrency" and that he cannot "miss out in this big business opportunity" A couple of flags were raised, but I decided to go with him.

Enter "Forcount", the meeting was in the city's country club with over 100+ people, a couple of close friends were there, I was immediately congratulated because I was not missing out on the next big thing in Crypto, even bigger flags were raised, I told my dad
$Victor -Watch this being this big ass pyramid scheme
$Dad -I don't think so, Mr. BigBucks, and Ms.ChainOwner is here.

And he was right, well-off people were there, people with money, shop owners, dealership owners, people from wealthy families, so I was a little suspicious about that, anyways I went a took sit while my dad was talking with the girl that invited him, he came back I asked what she said.
$Victor -So, what did she said to you? something along the lines that you will love this, and cannot miss this business opportunity?
$Dad -Yeah pretty much that.
$Victor -This is going to be a big ass pyramid.
$Dad -Probably, listen, the presentation is starting.
So then he came, this "Black diamond rank" guy from Costa Rica, to give us the presentation, he started by cheering everyone up telling a couple jokes and give a round of applause to this guy from our city because he just reached the "Emerald" ranking.
The presentation began, he started talking about how no believed in the internet and in social media, how companies were going bankrupt because they were stuck in their old ways. bla bla bla, yada yada yada, everything about that was true. he talked about how if you invested in apple x years ago you should have been richer you can imagine, but no-one believed in Steve Jobs, because he was this crazy tech guy with crazy ideas, and then... he said, let me present your next opportunity to be rich af boi and how to have a rich guy mentality.
Introducing "Forcount"
He began talking about this company that started in 2015 (even tho the domain was registered in 2017) specialized in "cryptocurrency trading" Big quotes here, he said that the company has the best traders in the world and how can they work for you, using their investment plans!. He then gave a brief intro to cryptocurrency (Litecoin) how can you be your bank yada yada...
and then oh boy, he began explaining the investment plans, how Litecoin used to be worh $3 and had an ATH of $100 and how in december it was expected to go over $1000.

https://preview.redd.it/lw7sbswwjkv11.png?width=884&format=png&auto=webp&s=72bde7c0260e6a1966adb76a3afebcc20583e898
So the investments plans are pretty much an "interest rate" from 0.01% to 3% from the profits made by their world-class traders make on your investment.
IT BEGINS

https://preview.redd.it/3rr186yxjkv11.png?width=880&format=png&auto=webp&s=d8b67c3fa54bc13b638903b09f3f903b6c154a6c
and how if you do a direct referral to someone you make from 5% to 10% on their investment
My dad and I started cracking up internally... and then this slide came on.
oh boy...

https://preview.redd.it/kxjlq01zjkv11.png?width=881&format=png&auto=webp&s=eb3bc565d2dc917ee7b643304d9efa1f3254fecd
That's your "NETWORK", and it works depending on your initial investment, and how your right or left "NETWORK" is doing. I'm not going get into detail because it was confusing af.
Oh and the ICO, THEY FUCKING HAVE AN ICO. It's called Mindex Coin and it was going to be the next Bitcoin. and guess what. ALL YOUR PROFITS WILL BE PAID IN THIS MINDEXCOIN (MIC)
They have other investment plans like renting mining rigs and other stuff, oh and of course they have a ranking system.

https://preview.redd.it/dd2lg720kkv11.png?width=879&format=png&auto=webp&s=9820f863e02b39407371fe177d38339c13e3866f
and you get bonuses, ofc for reaching this the company pays you extra.

https://preview.redd.it/gk2le9u0kkv11.png?width=879&format=png&auto=webp&s=87374aaa63f66920c0058ca97ba5bdbebae0d00b
example Black Diamond, they give a $10.000 extra enough to pay the lease of a rolls and a mansion.

The presentation ended, people were hyped af. I talked out my friends out of that shit, they gave away cookies and tea for all attendess (Cookies were 10/10 the only good thing to come out of that reunion.
THE AFTERMATH
I started working with a friend giving people basic courses about crypto (what's a wallet how to use it, what's a whitepaper) and in the course there were a couple attendees that invested in ShitCount, I showed them John Oliver video on MLMs and they told me they want to get their Litecoins and DASH out of that shit. and surprise surprise, you cannot withdraw your funds, only after 3 months and you can only withdraw the profits made with your investment, boy they were pissed.
A couple weeks pass by and news came, the Puerto Rican Black diamond was leaving the company, the Emerald local guy is under fire from everyone because they can't withdraw funds and is now exit scamming to Spain.
And now everytime that I talk about someone about Crypto they think is about that forcount shit because everyone thinks I want to recruit them to my "network".
on the plus side, a lot more people are interested in crypto general and informing themselves about it. Here's a pic from the last course we taught!.
Sorry for the long read.
submitted by ImViTo to antiMLM [link] [comments]

Need help figuring out if a dom is trying to scam me

I apologize if this is super long winded.
I am completely new to the BDSM world. A few weeks ago I started talking to a Dom through a site called AdultFreindFinder(she contacted me) and i'm now pretty sure its a scam but I would like a few others opinions to see if my hunch is correct.
I am going to post the transcripts of our email exchange and hopefully someone with more experience can shed light on this for me.
on AFF chat:
Her:
I'm new here and the website sent me your profile and says you are my new match, I don't know if you got my profile as well. After checking your profile out and seeing our compatibility chart is very high, I guess we might be a match after all. So this what I am looking for, am looking for a submissive pussy licking sex slave who is interested in BDSM/Kinky play, the key word here being SUBMISSIVE and BDSM/KINKY play. I know this is not for everyone, but if this something you want or dream about we can fulfill your fantasies together do check out my profile and send me a message ASAP.
Mistress Ann.
P:S This is going to be a soft BDSM sex slave, very mild bondage, this will be exploring more of pleasure than pain. Disregard this message if you don't have any submissive tendencies at all.
Me:
This is intriguing and I am interested in learning more about you and the domain of submission. I will be honest and say that I have very little experience in the kinky play area but I consider myself very open to experience.
Her:
Perfect let's continue this conversation in a more private environment. What I seek is a smart, intelligent, obedient and eager to serve sub and I think that might be you. Reply this message with your email address so I can contact you and set in motion the process to make you my submissive slut just because I don't get on here as much as I would like and I wouldn't want to leave you in limbo about making you my sex slave...
Mistress Ann.
Me:
At this point I give her a throw away email address

Chat moves to email:
Her:
I'm very pleased to be contacting you via regular email, the little exchanges we have had so far shows that our interest is aligned. This is the first step into making you all that you can become in serving and making me happy and in the process satisfying you as well and you need to be dominated by such a beautiful lady as myself in a real-life scenario.
This is not a trail for you to know and discover if you are submissive or not. For this, to work you have to know you are submissive and ready to stay submissive. If at this point you are unsure, I'll advise you to stop reading this email now, ignore it and not reply so no more time is wasted cause this is going nowhere if you are not truly submissive. If you have kept on reading and sure you are submissive then we can move forward and proceed.
I expect you to always be honest with me to be my slave, respecting me goes without saying slave you must always remember that you are the slave always in this relationship, therefore, I make all the decisions in this dynamic and you must always refer to me as MISTRESS. Like I previously pointed out and am sure by now you know that for this to work on any level you have to be submissive not playing at it. You will be dominated and toyed with by me for both our pleasures and the full spectrum of BDSM which may include, ass worship, anal penetration (mine), physical humiliation, psychical punishment (yours), forced masturbation, as long as its within your boundaries,you will be punished accordingly if you fail to attain my goals of you pleasing me. I will have variations of cute names that I will call you such as slut pie, sex slut you will answer to these names when I call you.
Anything public is of limits for me slave, I value my privacy very much, this means that all our plays will only be behind closed doors to assure maximum discretion, at no point will I send you any nude pictures of me via any medium even after our sessions have started. I hope you are insatiable as I am and ready to go on for long hours to please me, slave. During our plays protection will be paramount until such a time that you can show me that you are clean, safe and disease free as I am. For now, you are under a period of evaluation that will help me to determine if you are suitable to be my slave in the long term cause that's my ultimate goal. Since we have established that you are indeed submissive I don't envisage any problems with making you my slave and that process can start after you have replied this email.
Your Mistress Ann.
Me:
Yes Mistress.
Her:
Excellent my slave, I'll like to start with knowing your name.
Mistress Ann.
Me:
I give her my nickname
Her:
I am a mature and sexy 36-year-old woman, divorced and originally from Germany. I came over here 5 years ago back when I was still married to my husband. I was married for 4 years and divorced for 2.My whole life is here now a slave and am looking forward to making you a part of it. I don't know the caliber of women you have come across in your life but there is none in my class. I have been an active player in this lifestyle for a while and know what am doing, of course, you are welcomed to make your thoughts known if you think they are contrary to mine but with respect, remember you are the slave always. I am a bisexual domme with experience of unparalleled domination and alluring control. I want to make you my slave with my understanding of the Psychological and Physical aspects of this lifestyle. I am strict when the occasions call for it and sensual and provocative when I choose to be. I am quite generous and you have to be as well to be my slave.
Like I emphasized in my previous email we are moving ahead because I am sure by now you know for sure that you are submissive that this is definitely for you, so you won't have any problems relinquishing control to me slave? I can be free early in the day or late in the evening depending on my workload, I can work around your availability as well, let me know what times you think are best for you my slave. I want to start spending time with you ASAP slave, am ready to meet and start training you, you do however have to satisfy all of my criteria to be my acceptable slave slut and this you will know in due time my slut, its a short process that you must go through. At least we should be able to have at least a session together within a 2 week period, we will be able to manage this more effectively after a couple of sessions together. Training will be at my place for straight up sessions, we met on a sex site we both know that our aim is sexual gratification, so there will be no wining and dining just making our fantasies and desires a reality.
My fantasies and desires are more "BD" and very much less of "SM".So there will be no sadistic intentions towards you my slave. There will be more of role-playing and playing with sensual toys and accessories my slave, am familiar with almost every scenario of role-playing my slut, just keep in mind my slut whatever role we are playing Sexy professor and student, Sexy nurse, and patient whatever it is am always in control. I am a mistress with little limits, dominant very strict and caring, I have been a mistress for a pretty long time, as a lifestyle choice and I have experienced almost every fetish, either with slaves that I have owned myself or at fetish parties with my other dommes friends. However, I would love to know your limits so it can help me in molding you to be my perfect slave. I live in Oakland, so planning for our sessions with being easier and less stressful. We live in close proximity to each other we can have short sessions of about 2-3 hours at regular intervals.
I have further instructions for you.I'm dead serious about being the ONLY mistress you can have other filings(non-dominant girlfriend/wife) but I must be your only mistress, when you are with me, I want your full attention if you are going to be the slave for me I hope you are, if by now you still have others(dominant women), I want you to get rid of them and that is my first order to you and it requires your maximum obedience. Your second task is to send decent pictures of yourself to me in your next email no dick pics slave, I want to see what you look like and reply with more details about you using my email as a source of inspiration.
Your Mistress Ann.
(she sent me pictures of herself in lingerie as well at this point)
Me:
Mistress,
I am ready to submit and be your slave.
I am a 29 year old single man, never married and no significant women in my life currently. I am 5'8" tall and have a fit/athletic build. I have never had a mistress before and I look forward to being your slave. I trust you and only you to be my mistress. I think its admirable that you are so true to yourself and know who you are and what you want. I am happy to serve you and be a part of that vision.
My schedule shifts from week to week, there are times when I am very busy or out of town and other times when I am free. Later in the evening/night can work for me more consistently, however morning may also be open depending on the day. If I am in town weekends are generally open and available. This we can work out on a session to session basis and I will do my utmost best to conform to your preference. I would also like to start ASAP. I am okay with the frequency of at least 1 session every 2 weeks, however I am open to increasing this as you train me to be your slave. This can start as soon as tomorrow(Sunday 5/5). I will be unavailable from 5/8-5/13 as I will be out of town.
In terms of my limits, I am fairly open to most things on the "BD" side of things. I feel as you train me and our relationship as mistress and slave grows that my hard and soft limits will become more clear as I gain understanding of how I will be serving you and what types of things we will be doing. One hard limit I have currently is not overextending my right shoulder backwards as I recently injured it and it is in the later stages of healing. This should not be a problem after a few more weeks. In terms of the "SM" side of things, you have already mentioned that this will be limited given your desires for me as your slave. That being said I am not comfortable with severe physical abuse resulting in excessive bleeding and scarring especially on commonly exposed areas of the body such as the face. As I mentioned earlier these limits will evolve as we journey down this path.
I have attached pictures of myself for you. I recently decided to get rid of my hair and have included pictures of me both with and without. I don't take many pictures of myself. Please let me know if you would like more.
I am ready to relinquish control to you and give you my undivided attention.
Your slave
Her:
I Wore Up Thinking About Using You My Sex Slave
You arrived as instructed at your Goddess home for training to commence. You knock on the door and wait. I open the door and using my finger signal for you to enter. I point to the floor, you remove your clothing and fold it neatly and place them in the corner, you turn around and then get down onto your knees and lower your head, and place your hands behind your back.
I place a collar on your neck, then I secure your hands behind your back. I then instruct you to look at me, as you raise your head I start to remove my clothes. I notice you becoming extremely hard and excited from seeing your Goddess remove her clothes, standing there with only her bra and panties on, I instruct you to remove my already soaked panties being so wet expecting you since using your teeth. You come closer to me on your knees and gently get your teeth on the waistband of my panties and slowly work them down, moving around me and focusing on the waistband of my panties. As you finally remove my panties, I have already removed my leash and now I look down on you attaching the leash to your collar and say," slut, if you are very good in your training today you will be rewarded very generously" you reply, yes Mistress." I then lead you to the side of the bed with you leash like my little slut bitch that you are...
I take the bonds of your hands and tell you to get on the bed, no on the bed I tie your hands to the headboard and your legs to the foot of the bed and then I start smothering you with my pussy while I popped your cock and balls with my crop (gently). I'm grinding my pussy in your face wiping my nectar all over you, and the sweet smell of juicy wet pussy and the stinging from my crop made your sissy cock so hard. Soon I'll cum in your face and force you to eat all of it. Then I take some clamps and placed them on each of your nipples. You grit your teeth as the sharp pinching sensations running through your body. Your mistress pops your cock and balls again with her crop turning your throbbing cock harder and harder. She pauses and then gently strokes it with her hand and spits on it. Mistress leans down and takes your cock in her mouth. She strokes up and down giving you firm bites along with your cock head and shaft as she goes. Then your mistress climbs on top of you and allows you to feel her pussy slide down on your cock while she tugs on the chain attached to the nipple clamps. You grimace in the sweet pain that makes you thrust up deep inside her. You so want to grab her and grind inside her, but she has you tied, and you are at my mercy as I tease you by pulling my pussy off of you and pulling on your nipples again. She uses her crop to spank your cock once again. I continue this cycle repeatedly training your cock to be obedient to my pussy until finally your Mistress mounts you for the final time and bounces up and down and back and forth on your grinding her clit down on you till you can hold it no longer. At that moment, Mistress gives a gentle yank on the nipple clamps and I cum so hard and intense feeling the sweet pain run down your body and through your cock as you erupt inside me.
Your Very Horny Mistress Ann.
Me:
I want nothing more than to please you mistress. Your desires are one with my desires. Please use me.
Her:
My Sex Slave,
I am very happy getting to know you better and glad I choose you to be my fucktoy bitch slave. Your words portray respect, readiness, and willingness to serve as my worthy sub. I am going to do everything to make you my perfect slave, through light and erotic assignments, teasing and other activities that will bring your true submissive nature out to the surface my fucktoy slut.
Been a lifestyle domme my slut, am not in a mistress mode all the time, when our relationship takes off there will be some flirting, kissing and touching that might be considered vanilla a scenario where we just enjoy each other and not necessarily in a Mistress/slave setting. However, keep in mind that our relation stems from a Mistress and slave dynamic and you must remember you are the slave always. I do a little volunteer work when I can and am a registered member of the red cross. I work as an interior designer and decorator, it can be quite a tasking job with deadlines and perfectionist clients but I like to push myself as much as I can and I enjoy it. I am excited and looking forward to the memorable times we'll share together as Mistress and slave.
This is my evaluation so far my fucktoy bitch slave ***, through our communication, you have opened up to me my slave and with a little training, you can become my perfect male slut. Your response to my erotic email very enthusiastic my slave and it showed me that indeed you are ready to become a fucktoy bitch slave. We'll proceed with starting our session. I'll get back to you on the dates and times we can begin. Reply ASAP.
Love Your Mistress Ann.
Me:
Mistress,
The more I learn about you, the more I feel like I have to learn from you. I am ready to begin this new relationship with you as your slave. I hold volunteer service in a high respect and am turned on by the fact that you do work for the greater good. I am eager to begin training with you. Nothing would make me happier than to be the slave you want me to be even in those times where you are not in mistress mode, I am your slave.
I have actually recently become interested in interior design of small intentional spaces for the purpose of creating the most ideal environments to support mind, body and soul. I would love to learn from you in that way as well.
My anticipation to serve you grows by the minute, I look forward to hearing back from you.
Your humble slave
Her:
My pussy licking cum slavetoy
I want you to grab my ass in ecstasy while I ride your face with my juicy wet pussy. I want our bodies to connect on a spiritual level with our hands, fingers, breathe and everything else sensually entwined. I have a very wild imagination and I would love to help you reach your highest point of pleasure as you serve me, I want to take you on a journey (long term) if you prove worthy of my SUPREMACY. Your cock is mine to do with as I please my fucktoy bitch slave, this means you can only cum with my permission slave, from now on, no jerking off with my permission slave. I will teach you to make me squirt uncontrollably, I'll convert you into a fully automated pussy licking, ass worshiping slave puppy.
My panties are soaked thinking about using you my fucktoy slut love ***, we can have our sessions on the 15th and 17th and we can start in the morning around 11 am or evening around 5 pm on these dates. Let me know my fucktoy bitch slave if this timeline works for you. If we proceed from this point my slave there will be some financial commitments for both of us.
I have different approaches I used in training my slaves in the past my slave, I will study you my slave and determine what specific technique to use in teaching you all the different ways to please me. I have had 3 long term subs in the past my slave, one before I was married, another briefly about a year ago and I currently own a female slave that I play with from time to time,she is an air hostess so don't get to play with her as much as I would like which prompted my search for a male slave,I've been looking for a male slut for a little time now and I think I have found the perfect slave in you my slut. Looking forward to putting my collar of possession on you my slave and attach your leash and walk you around in your true submissive nature, you must not disobey my direct orders and wish slave, to please me you must always follow my instructions when it pertains to our mistress slave relationship. Respond ASAP
Your Mistress Ann.
(she sent me regular clothes pictures in this email(same woman from previous as per pictures)
Me:
The way you convey your desire through words is unparalleled. You paint a picture in my imagination that only makes me want to serve you more mistress. My primary purpose is to serve you and fulfill your deepest desires, anything above that is a mere bonus. My pleasure is secondary to your will and I will do anything to please you. I cant wait to be trained to be everything you want me to be. I can already feel the tension and its growing. You are now in control of my sexual impulses. The journey has already begun. I will worship you as the goddess you are. Lead and I will follow.
The 15th and the 17th works for me, I am not entirely sure of my work schedule yet. Lets tentatively meet in the morning on the Wednesday the 15th and in the evening on Friday the 17th.
I am open to the financial commitments. I'm curious about what this will entail?
I know that from the moment I lay eyes on you, I will be lost in your ocean. Unable to do anything but surrender.
Your humble slave
Her:
My fucktoy bitch slave, we'll begin our session on the evening of the 15th my fucktoy bitch slave ***. I am sure you know any form of relationship at some point will involve some financial decisions (dinner, the occasional gift and such).In a relationship like this, the financial decisions come early on in bondage clothing, bondage tools, and toys my fucktoy bitch slave to augment our experience. I enjoy been dominant so am Mistress, not a Dominatrix so I don't do this for money and I don't expect you to pay for sessions or anything like that my slave, however for our fantasies to become a reality and sessions reach its sexual satisfying peak there are tools needed to augment that experience my slave.
Your Mistress Ann.
Me:
Yea I expected all of that.
Is there anything you would like me to get prior to our first session mistress? I want to be as ready as possible so that I may be able to serve you to the best of my ability. Your slave
Her:
My Fucktoy Bitch Slave,
Your darkest passions still lie dormant inside you my fucktoy slut, I haven't even begun to tap in your full total submissiveness, my slave. These desires are waiting, sweltering and pulsing with every breath waiting for your Goddess to awaken them with just a single touch and mold and stimulate you into perfection. I will be hosting our training session at my home in Oakland my fucktoy bitch slave. I will like to spend at least spend up to 3 hours with you my fucktoy bitch during our first session, our first time together is going to be quite exciting, you and I are going to discuss at length what's about to happen in our session together and both decide on a safe word if one as to be chosen.
Like I mentioned my slave we at the point where a financial commitment is required. There are a few tools and equipment that have to be available before our sessions begin my slave. I don't use bondage tools that have shared with the previous slave, these are going to be new and exclusive for you and me my fucktoy bitch slave. I have discreet supplier my fucktoy bitch slave and a list of which includes but not limited to Deluxe SS/Leather Collar,Locking Men‘s Chrome Collar w/ Ring,KinkLab Double-Lock Police-Style Handcuffs,Nylon Rope, 25-ft,Adjustable Wrist,Corinthian Corset Dress,leather chastity Briefs With Penis Hole,Nipple Clamps and Cock Ring Set,Pjur Back Door Glide,Envy Five Rechargeable Silicone Vibrator. So am ready and willing to make a commitment to making you my slave by paying at least half of this cost of the toys right now, I presume that you are willing, ready and able to do the same before our training begins my fucktoy bitch slave. If you are unable to make this commitment at least 2 days before the date your training starts now my slave, we will have to reschedule for another time.
This is a one time only payment and these are the tools we will continue to use as long as you are my fucktoy bitch ***. Your quota my slave will be $800 and you will make payment to the toys' supplier my fucktoy bitch in readiness for our session to begin. This will show me that you are indeed ready and willing to be committed to being my sissy fucktoy bitch. I will be waiting for your response
Love Your Forever Mistress Ann.
Me:
Yes mistress, I am out of town. I apologize for the delayed responsiveness, I am away from my computer and phone most of the time while I am here. I will be back in town on Monday night or Tuesday morning. Please advise me of further details about the next steps and I will do my best to proceed within the given time frames that you provided.
My fire to serve you grows every day.
Your slave
Her:
My fucktoy bitch slave ***, I hope you are having a great time at the festival, my slave. I'm super excited as well my fucktoy bitch slave, can't stop thinking of using you my slut. Planning on getting a collar with maybe your name on it my fucktoy bitch slave what do you think. Like I alluded to my slave you'll be making payment for your share of the bondage gear directly to my supplier. She is a mistress as well very versed in the lifestyle, reliable and I always get my bondage tools from her. The method of payment will be bitcoin, my slave. Are you familiar with bitcoin?
Love Your Mistress Ann.
Me:
Mistress,
Forgive me for my lack of responsiveness, I did not get back from my trip until yesterday and had work straight away until 8pm.
I am not too familiar with bitcoin. That being said, I dont quite understand why all this discretion needs to take place in the acquisition of simple items for our sessions. It seems a bit much given that we haven't met yet.
Her:
Ok, slave ***, first you don't reply to my emails on time and now you are the expert on what as to happen before we begin our sessions?

Thats where we've left off so far and im not sure if I should continue conversing with her or if I should just call it quits. It seems sketch that the acquisition of these toys/items will be done through her friend and that its paid for using bitcoin. This feels like a textbook toys scam to me but a very well played one. That being said if it isn't I can only imagine the things that will ensue....
submitted by Subslave111 to BDSMAdvice [link] [comments]

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